16 Dad Jokes You Should Never Use

So Father’s Day is around the corner and as we think of the many memories, moments and good times we share with our dads, I am sure that there is one common thing that most of us would “fondly” remember – their jokes. Like it or not, it is no doubt that “Dad jokes” have become a popular topic on the Internet. Unfortunately, the jokes usually stay there.

So in case you’re thinking of using some Dad jokes to break the ice at the party, take my advice – don’t. I promise you, you will instead expand the ice and make the atmosphere in the room so cold that your friends would have to visit the North Pole to feel warm. Here are 16 Dad jokes you should never use.

1. I gave away all my dead batteries today… free of charge.

2. A clown held the door open for me; I thought it was a nice jester.

3. Last night, I dreamed about drowning in a sea of orange soda. Thank God, it was just a Fanta sea.

4. The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.

5. I shouldn’t have eaten that seafood. Now I feel a little… eel.

6. A man tried to sell me a coffin; I told him it was the last thing I need.

7. I asked a French man if he played video games. He answered “Wii”.

8. Did you hear about the new restaurant on the Moon? There’s great food but no atmosphere.

9. Who is the king of the pencil case? The ruler.

10. I am terrified of elevators. I am going to take steps to avoid them.

11. Why can’t you have a nose that is 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.

12. I used to dislike facial hair; but then it grew on me.

13. What did the “officer” molecule say to the “suspect” molecule? “I got my ion you.”

14. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.

15. Why didn’t I put the cat out? It wasn’t on fire.

16. I wouldn’t buy anything with Velcro on it. It’ll be a total rip-off.

And I wouldn’t tell any Dad jokes to anyone; it’ll be a complete turn-off. 😄 Hahaha. Jokes aside, to all the fathers reading this, we still love you! Don’t stop being who you are and I wish you an early Happy Father’s Day. 😎

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